Where Has All the Flirting Gone?

Sounds like that old song, Where Have All the Flowers Gone, doesn’t it?  Well, it certainly does seem a long time passing, let me tell you.  Is it my imagination, or does everyone have their eyes trained on their mobile devices?

Check it out the next time you’re in the elevator.  Does anyone actually make eye contact anymore?  What the heck happened to the art of flirtation?  I remember (a long time ago in a land far, far away), flirty looks shot from girls to guys.  Smoldering looks from guys to girls.


Now you’re lucky if people even know you’re in the elevator with them.  And it’s not only elevators, folks.  People walking down the street are reading, texting, or looking at videos on their phones.  No chance of a flirty or smoldering look, no sirree Bob.


Aside from the fact that people don’t really pay attention to each other anymore, think of how dangerous it is to not pay attention to your surroundings.  Muggings and worse, waiting to happen.

It’s not only flirting that’s going by the wayside, either.  Have you noticed people walking their dogs while talking on, or looking at, their phone?  Pushing their baby in a stroller?  On the phone.  I saw a couple walking with their 10ish year old a few mornings ago.  The dad and son were walking side by side, talking.  The mom?  About 5 feet behind texting on her phone.

I know that some of these interactions I see aren’t necessarily indicative of what that person does every time they are out and about.  But I have to think that this is becoming the norm, since I can’t remember the last time I saw someone walking their dog or child when they weren’t on the phone.


I’m here to tell you, I miss flirting.   I miss catching someone’s eyes and being able to tell, from the heat, or twinkle – or smolder – that he finds me attractive.  That, just maybe, a connection could be made.  I think people are missing out.  They’re relying on their internet or mobile devices to flirt with people, when doing it in person is so much more fun.   I miss those interactions with other people, even if it isn’t flirting.   That smile, the comment on the weather.  Or the current ball game being played.


I challenge you to ignore your mobile device when you’re out and about.  If you’re single, I challenge you to toss a flirty look at someone you’re attracted to.  I challenge moms and dads to leave their phones in their pockets and actually interact with their child in the stroller, or their dog on the leash.  And I challenge people who are already paired – when you’re on a date, at dinner, a movie – wherever.  Don’t be texting people when you could be reveling in the attention of the person you’re with.  This single girl would love to have a bit of that attention!

Let the flirting commence!!

16 thoughts on “Where Has All the Flirting Gone?

  1. It is a shame to see how disconnected we can become to those around us. People don’t seem to make eye contact any more. How many commercials do you see on the television for dating sites because our lives are so busy we can’t meet anyone? The art of conversation is being reduced to sound bites and text messages. Great post, Viola!


    1. I agree. You’re absolutely right! We’re just too busy, and too caught up in the social media/mobile device rage to see who’s standing right next to us. Thanks Kylie!


  2. Love this post. I’m not a big texter except when trying to meet up with someone. However, I noticed the loss of eye contact or greetings began with the MP3 player–remember those bulky disks you could carry while walking. But the real game changer came with the iPod release in 2001. That’s 12 years ago! No longer you could walk down the street–or jog for those who are more active–and get a response to a Hello, or “isn’t a beautiful morning?” Now everyone is plugged into music or whatever they are listening to on their iPod-type device.

    The ubiquitous use of texting, or iPhone equivalent smart phones, which began in 2007, then put the nail in the coffin for in-person, one-on-one contact for any length of time. I’m not so crazy to be looking for flirtations, except with my husband. But when I’m with a friend I’m pretty curmudgeonly about them not texting or checking their phone constantly. 🙂


    1. Maggie, you’re absolutely right! I completely forgot about the MP3 players, but that really was the advent of people disconnecting from those around them. I’m the same way when I’m with people – I’d rather they not be checking their phone every time it rings or vibrates, or whenever something flashes on the screen. Unless they have a sick child or relative, or some other reason to be expecting a call, can’t they just wait until their time with whoever they’re with is over? I know not all of my conversation is scintillating, but I try hard! ha ha ha Glad to hear you’re still flirting with the hubby!!


      1. I read a survey in the Oregonian today that 12% of people admitted to texting on their phones DURING SEX. OMG! Are they crazy?


  3. Viola, I love this post, and everyone’s replies. We live in a disconnected world, and we are missing those wonderful opportunities not only to flirt, but to recognize those moments of serendipity whereby we might meet the person who’s going to be our new best friend while in line at the store or while sitting at our child’s soccer practice. How could we when we are glued to a tiny glowing screen?


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