I’ve decided to dip my toes in the online dating realm and have found it’s more like dipping them into a piranha pool. It’s been an experience, that’s for sure! I started daily blogs on Facebook and thought I’d compile them here so you can get some belly laughs. Enjoy!
Online Dating – Day One:
I’ve decided to navigate the (gasp, cower) realm of online dating. I’m already rethinking my decision. I’ve received several requests to chat – clearly canned – from people hailing from Ontario all the way to Bermuda. One’s profile says he’s in a relationship (what the heck’s he doing here?). The others have, in their profiles, religious and political views diametrically opposed to mine. One is an outdoor enthusiast, and my profile clearly states I can’t be in the sun, ever. One, from clear across the country, sent me what must be something he pastes and emails to myriad women, saying thanks for contacting him (um, I didn’t), then rambling in a fashion that shows some kind of mental state that’s clearly not stable, and closes with his phone number and email address. If nothing else, perhaps this will turn into an experiment that I can then include in a book, because I can’t see it turning into a date! It will be a thriller, because this is going to be a scary experience. What I wouldn’t give to meet someone the old fashioned way!
Online Dating – Day Two:
Let’s talk profile pictures. It’s a good idea to have one. I’m surprised at the number of people who don’t. Also, a blurry one is not the best. Or the one that looks like they’re angry, or supremely arrogant. They must know someone with an iPhone or android who can snap one and send it to them. Also, if they’re from several states away, or on the East Coast, for Pete’s sake, dating is going to be pretty difficult. Even Grant’s Pass is too far away. So no, I’m not going to try to “get to know them”, although it is flattering that they reached out. I’ve decided to consider this an adventure, and am taking notes for a future book.
Day Three – Online Dating:
Day three is a bit better than one and two. Nice compliments on my profile picture, and one interesting gentlemen that I sent off a return message to. I’ve always been extremely empathetic, and I’m finding it difficult to send off the nice couple of sentences that basically say “thanks for reaching out, but I don’t think we’re a match.” I tend to want to come up with a good reason, so feelings aren’t hurt, but am getting better at just “yanking off the bandaid” and sending off the message. Last night I was hating that part of this online thing enough that I was going to just cancel it, but didn’t. Then got the “flirt” from the guy that was interesting. Go figure. Still getting messages from men that I think don’t read my profile, though. Opposite religion. Also, I like being with a man who is my height or taller. Got a couple of messages to connect from guys several inches shorter. Gotta hand it to them, props for that not bothering them, but I’ve always felt I wasn’t comfortable if the guy was more slender than me, or shorter. Just my quirks!
Day Four – Online What-the-hell-am-I-doing-here aka Dating:
Decided to cruise through some profiles this morning to wake myself up. I’m awake! This site shows you the profile picture, with two buttons above – “No, Next Profile” and “Yes, Next Profile”. I’m assuming it’s so they’ll remember your choices and not show you the same people in the future you’ve said No to. Not so much. Many of the profiles shown to me today I said No to day before yesterday. Sigh. Back to pictures. The serial killer look does not make a good profile picture. Just sayin’. Also, the picture where he’s wearing a wedding ring and a tux? Nope, shouldn’t use that one. Or the one where they are slack-jawed and blank-eyed. Huh-uh. Come on, guys, put a little thought into it! We’ll see what adventures today brings! Who knows, maybe by the end of next week, I’ll have caved and adopted the dog that I’ve been wanting.
Day Five – Online Non-Dating:
Interesting that the handful of men I find attractive, that viewed my profile so are brought to my attention, are all out of state, or out of the country. I’d actually rather they didn’t view my profile, so I don’t get teasers of what I can’t have. I did send a reply to one gentlemen who expressed interest and asked if we could chat. That was a couple of days ago (drums fingers on desk and wonders if he’ll respond). Again with the pictures of people I’ve already viewed and said I wasn’t interested in! I should offer my Software QA services to get those bugs resolved. I actually “liked” a couple of photos. One because his smile was killer, and the other – okay I’m shallow – was because his biceps were awesome, and he had a killer smile. Sue me. Off to the treadmill. We’ll see what today brings!
Day Six – Online Browsing – Surely not online dating:
The continuing saga of a gently mature woman in the online dating realm. I’d like the ability to limit access to my profile to people who LIVE IN MY AREA! My visitors today and yesterday are a few from the Portland area, then from: Eugene, OR; Duncan, British Columbia; Paradise, CA; Seattle, WA; Federal Way, WA; Salem, OR; Bremerton, WA; Shafter, CA; Phoenix, AZ (he was 25); Sanford, FL; La Grande, OR; Miami, FL; Beverly Hills, CA; Winter Garden, FL; Goldendale, WA; Brownstown, PA; and last, but not least, Porcia, Italy. I’ve received more messages about wanting to get to know me and see what chemistry we have from people out of state! Sheesh. If I’m going to get people out of my area, why can’t they be handsome Scottish men in kilts, or dashing Irishmen? Calgon has left the building, and I fear nothing is going to take me away from this madness! LOL
Day Six….and a half – Adventures in Online “Huh?” Dating:
I’m also now running across profiles with no pictures and no, well, profile. No description, nothing, nada. Hmm, I wonder if the invisible man has been creating profiles? Or someone in Witness Protection? Lonely, but can’t give out information or their likeness? Good luck with that! Lots of views today, a couple of messages, but – meh. Lots of no picts and out of state. Personally, I think a long distance relationship would be kinda like, well, what I’m doing right now. Not dating. I wonder how much a matchmaking service would cost? Where they screen the people, and THEY actually do the looking for me. Probably more than I want to spend. Perhaps when desperation makes me, well, desperate. Perhaps then I’ll hire a matchmaking service. If only book-boyfriends could hold hands and lock-lips!
Day Seven – Online with OKCupid and offline with Ourtime looking:
‘Ourtime’ has become “Theirtime’. I’m closing that account today. OKCupid, suggested by a lady-friend at work, seems to be well thought out and coded better. There are over 600 multiple choice questions you can answer, which, if someone you’re interested in answers the same ones, will result in their code giving you a percentage of match. Also, you can actually see what their answers are, which is a bonus. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! Seems to have a much bigger variety of guys, too. I still find it interesting that the three guys who “liked” my photo are from: Nevada, VA, and TX. What happened to keeping Portland weird? I can’t believe our guys are shy! We’ll see how long I last, though. Last night I was ready to shut everything down, but in the light of day – wait, it isn’t light yet – I think I’ll let it go at least through the weekend. I’d cross my fingers if it weren’t so dang hard to type that way! Wish me luck, or at least sanity!
Day – I’ve lost count – of perusing profile pictures – aka Online Dating:
I’ve been chuckling and shaking my head at the pictures people are posting! One I just saw was a close up of his eye. Yup, just one eye. No other pictures. Some are pictures of more than one guy. What, it’s multiple choice? We have to guess which one is THE guy? LOL Another was a couple’s pict – and he’d used software to erase her face. Uh, no. Not a good one. Some are from a distance so you can’t see their face, or really their body type. Hmmm, is that a beard, or a shadow? The selfies in a bathroom mirror, where the flash is blinding, isn’t really a good showing, either. I wonder if they don’t want to admit they are online on a dating site, so don’t want to ask anyone to take a good pict? We still have the looks that totally say: serial killer, so surprised!, angry at the world, brooding, and last but not least, “you know you want me”. My messages the past two days have been from men who want to “get to know me”, and I’m guessing they aren’t going to mind commuting from California, Northern Washington, or Nevada for a date. That’s very sweet of them.
Online NotSoMuch Dating as Chuckling:
I’m amazed at the number of admirers I have in Atlanta. I think perhaps someone has written my online nickname on a bathroom wall or two. I’m also amazed at the number of men who think I would give my phone number or email right away, or who give theirs before even exchanging an email. Have they never heard of crazy women or stalkers? Oh wait, perhaps THEY are stalkers. Well, that explains it! I love the short, generic messages “Hi, how are you.” Or one I got this morning with nothing but “Hey”, and the profile pict is him reclining on a bed shirtless. For a minute I thought I was looking at a romance book cover. LOL The other I received this morn says he doesn’t think internet is the best way to meet, wants to know more about me so would I send him my email, then meet as soon as possible as he doesn’t plan to stay long on the site. Getting ahead of himself a little, isn’t he? He’s supposing that we’ll immediately hit it off and I’ll want to meet? This really is getting more and more entertaining day by day. Clicked the trashcan on both of them. Cross your fingers, and someone PLEASE tell me where the dating site is that has nothing but burly firemen, construction workers, and cowboys, all in their mid-fifties. Don’t keep me waiting! XOXO